The next morning we fly to Madurai. We have a fantastic hotel set high up on a hill, overlooking the city. We get there late because our flight was delayed. I am already happy because there are resident peacocks. I am not happy that my umbrella got stolen out of my suitcase from the only unlocked pocket. Air India. Avoid this airline if possible.

Gorgeous Taj Hotel

Honeymoon Suite

Got The Pool All For Myself

Lovely View From Hotel

The Germ

Peacock At The Hotel

That evening we go and see the ceremony of putting Parvati to bed. It is in a lovely huge temple. Very colorful. People won’t stop taking pictures of me. The next thing I know, they hand me a baby. They want my picture holding a baby. The irony…

Please Hold My Baby

Hindu Temple

Ceiling Paintings At Temple

Dancing Siva

Lord Ganesh

The ceremony involves taking a statue of Parvati, ceremoniously carrying her to her husband Shiva, changing her clothes, putting her in his room that has a curtain and singing to her. They do this every night (for hundreds of years now). Dress up dolly. We don’t get it.

Taking Parvati To Bed

Scary Looking Priest

The temples have beautiful adornment on the outside because during the time of strict casts, none of the lower casts were allowed inside the temple so the people would pray to statues from the outside.

Temple Close-up

The attention I am getting is starting to get to me. Our guide tells us that everyone has been asking if we are movie stars. They are sure I am famous. Only in India…

Monkeys On The Road

The next morning we see the old court and drive for hours to see the royal family’s summer residence. Nice enough, but absolutely not worth the hours we spent in the car. I am loving the animals on the streets–except for the dogs. The dog population has no control here. A leash? Forget it. Spay or neuter? Non-existent. We figured that feeding the packs of dogs was the excuse used by the entire country for dumping their garbage anywhere and everywhere. It really is filthy here. A wasteland? A dumping ground? All of the above.

Lock At Palace

Maharaja Owners Of the Palace

Palace

Local Transport

Lunch was at a woman’s house. She converted her large home into a tourist attraction where you hang out with the locals. We had lunch off a banana leaf which was fun, delicious and a novelty. Since we were Westerners, we were given cutlery. Everyone else was eating with their hands. The food was excellent–we have yet to get rid of our heart burn.

Tuk Tuk Leads The Way

Indian Lunch On a Banana Leaf

Great Lunch

That evening we go back to the same temple. The night before we were there and stopped by a store. We saw a carpet that we loved and had the night to sleep on it. Our guide was taking me back to see the temple elephant. I am in love with elephants. The night before I only has a brief amount of time with her. Tonight I am prepared with a wad of cash to keep her around. I don’t care if no one else gets a turn. The elephant is painted which I am enjoying. The elephant lets me blow in her trunk and I can’t stop kissing her. Marc is happy enough to photograph me and not get in on the elephant action. After, we bought the carpet.

Feeding Money To Elephant

The Elephant Loves Her

Blowing Into Her Trunk

Kiss

More impressions…

Granite Stone Quarry

Local Transport

Holy Cows On The Street

Vegetable Market

Italian Muslim Architecture

Dhoti Skirt

Just Drive Around Her

Every Day Life

Welcome to exotic India. “Incredible India!” as the advertising slogan says.

On our passage to India, via Kuala Lumpur, we got a hotel room in the airport (thanks for the valuable tip Erin) and slept for hours. It was needed.

In the airport, we toyed with the idea of buying the Lonely Planet book for India, but of course that was one more thing to schlep and it was almost 100 USD. We decided against it. Not before we read about our first destination–Chennai where the opening lines described the city as really hard to find anything to rave about. Great.

We arrived in Chennai late. The next morning we had our guide and our driver pick us up. Within minutes Marc and I both agreed that we were happy we weren’t driving ourselves. Cars were going every which way, no one was obeying the traffic lights and swerving around the various wild life roaming freely on the street which include cows, water buffalo, packs of dogs, and monkeys. The city of Chennai was flooded. The monsoon came late this year and because the city has no drainage, huge water floods (massive puddles) were everywhere. Of course we couldn’t get over how many people weren’t wearing shoes. Our guide explained that no shoes made their lives easier. It didn’t sit well with either of us. No shoes?

Monsoon and No Drainage

Local Fuel Transport

We went to a school for performing arts and saw some dancers. It was really interesting. No photography allowed. Horrible weather.

We saw a few Hindu temples. They were lovely. I have to admit that I can’t stand taking my shoes off. I have a fear that I am going to catch something and my shoes are going to disappear. This fear was solidified when we saw people hawking shoes on the street. They were such random shoes–men’s, women’s, casual, formal–all used and all different sizes. Suspicious.

Siva Temple Close-up

Entry – No Shoes

Siva and Parvathi

Siva Temple In Chennai

Figures

One of Many Siva Models

Calv at Temple

Bananas Are From Kitty

We drove and drove–to see a gold temple. It was lovely, but very far to get there. Everyone was staring at us. More noticeably, they were staring at me. They were photographing me. I am the only blonde in sight. I am a foot taller than every other woman. I am either a big freak show or exotic. Still undecided.

Proceed To Temple

Hindu Temple

Mango Tree That Siva Sat Under

Hindu Princess

More Hindu

Granite Carvings

We have good food, but of course we get heartburn. Trying to describe heartburn to Indians is not an easy task. What we wouldn’t do for a roll of Rolaids. We never have heartburn. We hope this doesn’t last.

We buy a sari. Marc is loving the colorful silks and is growing very tired of my black uniform. I try to explain that I am indeed switching it up. Which part? My earrings.

Trying On a Sari

Sending home a package from India was an experience…

Sewing Up Our Package

Indian Post Office

Other impressions…

Second Longest Beach Of The World

St. Thomas Church

St. Thomas Church

After not spending more than two nights in a row in the same hotel, Phuket was our time to settle down, relax and revive. For six days we were going to stay at the JW Marriott in Phuket. Of course we had a bit of close call getting to the Bangkok Airport through morning rush hour but we made the flight–yep, we were those people running through the airport…

Arriving in Phuket, we had no idea where our hotel was located and we had to take a longer taxi ride to the northern part of the island. It was about 45 minutes away from “the next settlement”. Now we know that there’s a difference to Phuket Island and Phuket City. It was a beautiful resort at the beach. Of course I immediately started to panic–6 days of beach. No tours? No plans? What the hell are we going to do?

Welcome To Marriott Phuket

Beach Just For Us

The plan had always been–do nothing, relax and recover. Our schedule up to this point had been pretty hectic. I begin immediately referring to our fancy resort as “The Ranch”. Many of my sentences started with “Meanwhile, back at the ranch…”

Beautiful Sunsets

Here are our 6 days on the island of Phuket:

Day one–admire our great room and check out the various bars at the ranch. We also check out the restos. Since we are pretty far from anywhere else, there is price gouging at all the places on the ranch.

Relaxing Atmosphere

Outdoor Washrooms

Cascade

Water Features

Have a Drink At The Pool

We watch the sunset while Marc joins (too much of a sportsman too dominate–but he easily could have) a game of beach volleyball. I was happy to be the photographer.

Serve

Picture Perfect

Beach Volleyball

Concentration

Day two–start with lavish buffet breakfast and my plate mainly consists of cheese. Have I mentioned that I miss cheese badly? Because Marc is a gold status member, not only do wet get a room upgrade, but a complimentary breakfast–hence the daily lavish buffets. Admittedly we were gluttons the entire time. The breakfast was really good.

We make a much overdue visit to the spa for mani-pedis. After we are through with our treatments, we are starting to feel like ourselves again.

We are starting to really relax. I am feeling calm and peaceful–despite the noisy Russians. Marc commented that the Ruble must be doing really well for the amount of Gucci clad Russians there were at the ranch.

Day three–a day trip to the stunning Phi Phi Islands. We start with a long boat ride to the place where the Leonardo di Caprio movie “The Beach” was filmed. It was just amazing, but full of Russians…

The Beach

Happy Clam

We went snorkeling off the back of the boat in what seemed like an aquarium. There were the most incredible fish–of all colours. Sadly our camera is not water resistant (I tested it out in the rice paddy, remember?) so unfortunately we don’t have any under water pictures.

Dive Into The Aquarium

On Monkey Island

Turquoise Water

Camel Rock

We went to Monkey Island and just as you most likely guessed, it was full of monkeys. Of course the Russians wouldn’t stop feeding them. I was happy to take their picture–from a safe distance…

Gotcha!

Is That Really Banana?

Yummy

I Don’t See You

Long Tail Monkeys

Hi There

More Monkeys

Another stop on our excursion was Egg Island. Marc wanted to go snorkeling again–so with a small bribe of a horrible cocktail, I joined him.

Tequila Sunrise Thai Style

At Egg Island–you had to swim out from the beach to the reef. Did we mention the beach was full of Russians? The women are absolutely shameless–wearing underwear that someone must of told them passed for a bikini (perhaps if it was in black…) and the men all have big bellies, little Speedos, a cigarette hanging out of their mouths and a thick gold chain with an orthodox cross. Oh–la Russie!

Russian Beach Wear

We get out into the water and have already been warned to watch the coral. The water is very shallow. We start swimming with our gear. I am really not pleased that Marc has pinched me–hard. This isn’t like him–clearly he didn’t know how hard he got me. I lift my head out of the water to tell him that he hurt me. He was meters away from me. I have been bitten by a fish!

I frantically paddle myself over to him. As I am explaining what happened, another fish corrals me in the coral. I am using my flippers to get the fish to back the eff off, but he is standing or shall I say guarding his turf. He won’t let me go. I panic. In an effort to break free of the gangsta fish, I make my move, wallop my ankle in the coral and at that moment I am done. Done. I can’t swim fast enough to the shore.

We take the boat back to the marina and call it a day. The fish bite (yes indeed there was a scab) lasted longer than the nasty coral welt.

Kitty And The Germ

A Matter of Perspective

Day 4–we decide to head into Royal Phuket City. We are desperate for laundry and to have it done at the ranch is a small fortune. We take the ranch shuttle and I won’t stop singing a made up song to the tune of “Once in Royal David City…”. We hired a driver, found a tailor to mend Marc’s leopard pants (I did offer to sew, but he flat out refused my offer. He married a girl that can embroider, not mend) and increase the length of my hot pink kimono (didn’t take sitting into consideration). We also found a woman, who would do all of our laundry for the cost two golf shirts at the ranch.

Returning With Laundry

Too Much To Carry

We kill time by visiting the local markets, temples, massages (Thai massages are assisted yoga) and having cheap and cheerful food. We picked up our clean clothes and took an earlier shuttle back to the ranch. Royal Phuket City is a bit of a dive.

Shopping in Phuket City

Temple

Temple

Monks On The Way To Exam

Ornaments

Day 5–we have a lie in and get a massage on the beach. It is assisted yoga once again and like all my massages in Thailand, the Thai woman starts walking on me. Yep, I have a small Thai woman taking a stroll up the back of my legs.

We hang out by the pool and read our books. We have a leisurely lunch by the pool and then in the late afternoon start getting ready for Pa Tong Beach. The place where we thought we were staying and all the action is.

No One There But Us

Good Times

JW Marriott

We have it planned–watch the sun set, have a nice dinner, then head to see the drag queens as per Jeff’s recommendation.

This is where the story takes an unexpected turn…

I have seen Marc officially lose his shit three times.

The first time was when we went to see Sound of Music and Jenna was playing Maria, not Elisha (we avidly watched “How do you solve a problem like Maria”–the open casting competition). Marc was so upset we had the runner up, we ended up seeing it twice–once with Elisha and once with Jenna.

The second time I saw it was when we had been married for exactly one month. Marc lost his wedding band in our bedroom. Our cleaning lady sucked it up the next morning with a vacuum and of course threw away the bag (I bought him a replacement band the following day and we found it in the laundry room one week later).

The third time was in Pa Tong Beach when he didn’t see the drag queens…

After a good Thai dinner, we start looking for the lady boys. My Germ has never seen lady boys perform. He now has his heart set on it. Jeff didn’t tell us exactly where to go, just that their performance was a must see. We went from one end of Pa Tong Beach to the other, being barraged the entire time with:

Where are you from?
Want a tuk tuk?
Want to get a suit made?
Come inside my store–looking is free!

Pa Tong Madness

We are quickly realizing that we needed the time at the ranch. This kind of harassment was getting old quickly.

Marc is going crazy that we can’t find the lady boys. Crazy. He is having a full melt down. Finally we have a few drinks (at a rowdy back packer bar) with the promise that my lovelies will take him to Church Street and he can get his fill of drag queens. Sulking, he relented, but assured me that it wouldn’t be the same. Jeff–you should not have told us about the stage on fire…

Pa Tong At Night

Day 6–we have our monster breakfast and Marc lets me know (I don’t know why he didn’t mention this before) that there are small packages of both Nutella and peanut butter. His cargo pockets are stuffed full by the time I am done.

We spend a bit of time by the pool which is quiet because all of the Russians have left. We check out. We are on passage to India!

Back to the hotel we go. Three hours to Bangkok. We decide that since the day has been so incredible, we are going to end with a bang and finally take Jeff’s recommendation and go to the Bed Supperclub for a late dinner.

Such a Cool Place

Envy?

We shower and get ready. We take a tuk tuk over to the Bed Supperclub. This place is amazing. There is a white banquette that surrounds the dining area. It is literally a huge bed with white sheets and fluffy pillows. Shoes off, in we get. Drinks and dinner is served on a tray that your legs can slide through. The theme of the dining area is the seven deadly sins. Wrath, gluttony, envy, pride, vanity, sloth, and lust. There is a performance with the most incredible costumes designed to reflect each of the sins. They are haute couture. We are having the most incredible day of our lives.

Gluttony And Wrath

On Our "Bed"

The club finishes up its dinner service and there is a 2nd room playing more hip hop and pop music with a totally different vibe and atmosphere. More drinks, dancing. The dining room was all about the beets and performers. A highlight was a beat boy/popper who rocked it out on the deadly sin stage. He was amazing. We spoke to him after and told him how much we enjoyed his performance.

The Germ

Kitty

Of course it turned into a late night. Tuk tuk back to the hotel. On the ride back we talk about Larry and Jeff and thank them both from Bangkok for their fantastic recommendations.

Sex, Drugs, And Rock-n-Roll?

Tuk Tuk Back To Hotel

As if this day wasn’t enough, on our way back to Bangkok we head over to an elephant sanctuary. The place is crawling with Russians. Something about Russians and Thailand…

We arrive and wait for our guide to get things straightened away with our ride. We watch a baby elephant, who I promptly name Rosie, do all sorts of clever tricks. I am first to volunteer and slide under her big foot and she presses it down on my back. Then I see all the Russians scrambling to feed her a bottle. Our ride is all set and we decide to feed her on our return.

Tap, Tap, Tap

The elephant we are about to ride approaches. I can’t believe our day. There is a baby elephant tied to his mother. This must not be possible.

I climb onto the seat that serves as a saddle on the great elephant’s back and Marc joins me. All I can think about is the baby who keeps passing under her mother’s legs and is continually on different sides.

Happy Couple

We ride around a loop through a forest and are floating. We are high as kites on all this animal love.

When the ride is close to being over, the guide ‘driving’ the elephant hops down with our camera. He instructs Marc to assume his position right behind the elephant’s head, his feet behind her ears. The next thing I know, Marc is the one in charge. He is riding me around like a queen.

Baby Elephant Is Thirsty

Professional Elephant Guide

Baby And Mom

Nothing To It

After an amazing photo shoot and yet again another unbelievable experience, Marc takes the seat beside me, and the guide takes us back.

I dismount the elephant and can’t stop thinking about baby Rosie. I am SO EXCITED to feed her a bottle. We approach the cashier and ask where she is. Sorry–you’ve missed her. She’s gone back. Her day is over. WHAT? This can’t be! I know that money talks in this country and smile at the lady. Please? We REALLY wanted to give her a bottle. We’ll pay extra. Enough said. Next thing I know we are getting walked to staff quarters to give Rosie a bottle. Marc has a bunch of potatoes (they were peeled and hard to distinguish, probably tapioca). We find Rosie and her handler. I love her. She is so lovely with her long glamorous eyelashes and eyes that reveal profound thought and intellect. I want to be best friends with her.

Rosie

I feed her a bottle of soy milk that she just loves. I ask if it would be alright if I blow in her trunk. That is the thing with elephants. If you blow in their trunks once, they will know you forever. They never forget. Ever. I blow into Rosie’s trunk and give her a big kiss–a few actually. The only sad part is that Marc wasn’t ready for the perfect picture. We don’t have the moment properly captured on film, but it is captured in my heart.

Thirsty?

Blowing Into Rosie’s Trunk

I move to the side and let Marc have a turn with Rosie. He feeds Rosie the tapioca and she has her mouth wide open. She loves it. We are beyond happy–the day is surreal. Did all of that just happen?

Hungry?

We say a fond farewell to Miss Rosie. We blow her kisses and are happy clams.

More Elephants

We exit the sanctuary. Our driver slows down so we can see the monkeys hanging out on the side of the road. Our guide advises us that most of the monkeys in Thailand have rabies so it is advisable to not get out of the car and definitely do not feed them by hand. According to him, only the Russians do that…

Monkeys

And now, on to the Tiger Temple.

Years a ago, a baby tiger was found and brought to the monks–his mother had been shot by poachers. The monks, being monks, took the tiger cub in and raised him, and then other cubs who were orphaned were also brought to the temple. And a few other animals–often the ones that were in such rough shape, the slaughter houses refused them. It is a veritable Noah’s arc.

The monk who found the first tiger considers this tiger his son. He asked the tiger-will you behave and let the tourists come so I can build you a reserve? The tiger answered yes. That is how this story starts.

We arrive at the Tiger Temple in the early afternoon. It is closed to tourists in the morning. We are one of the first to arrive. We are EXCITED! We get into the temple and start off by petting some of the tigers who are laying down. The only thing we have been told is that you can’t pet them too lightly. If you pet them lightly, they will think you are a fly and will snap at you. Press down firmly when you pet them. DONE.

Careful…

First Touches

Wake Up

Uiii, Careful. These Teeth Are Real

These tigers are exquisite. How anyone could shoot them with anything but a camera is beyond me. We were informed that the value of a tiger is more astronomical now than it has ever been, despite their protected status. The Chinese think that tigers are the ultimate enhancers of male virility. According to the temple, the Chinese demand for tigers are driving the costs way up and keeping the poachers in business. Are male virility aids not available in China? Have they not heard of Viagra? Cialis? I think anyone who purchase any part of poached tiger should be shot. Or be neutered. You will understand and most likely agree with me as soon as you see these pictures.

Firm Pad

Stunning Beast

Belly Rub

After we had our initial petting sessions, we did a tiger walk. Here is what happens:

Monks walk with the cats who are on leashes and you walk behind them with your hand on the tiger’s hind quarters. They take pictures of you with your own camera. We walk down into a canyon with the tigers. We heard a little talk by one of the staff members (a former volunteer from the US who couldn’t leave the tigers) and it was all I could do not to throw my hands up and ask where I signed up. I had visions of a fulfilling and satisfying career handling these majestic beats. Kitty–the big cat handler. But I digress. I haven’t got to the best part. The nursery!

Walk With Monk

Taking a Walk

Marc’s Turn

This Guy Is Huge

We paid extra to go to a feeding session in the nursery. We are greeted by a Canadian volunteer originally from Brampton. He takes us to the nursery where we meet THE most stunning Swedish girl. Tall, blonde, skinny, gorgeous. She looks like a super model. I am jealous of her–but not because of her Heidi Klum good looks–mostly because of her job. She too was a volunteer and said that it doesn’t take much time at all to become really attached to the tigers. No kidding. I am only my 2nd hour at temple and am ready to say good bye to my career, my family, my life–just to be around these cats.

Into the nursery we go. There are 4 tigers. The room is really a nursery and is full of toys. Some of the toys look like regular cat toys–just on a larger scale. I officially don’t want to leave. Ever. We begin playing with the tigers. A broom stick with crinkly plastic bags on one end is a favourite. There are tires that they climb on. They have a blanket that they will lie on and let you pull them around. They are frisky and frolicking. I see one of the tigers jump up on Marc and take a bite out of his calf. I can’t believe it. In one day Marc has been bitten not only a leopard, but a tiger. He’s ok. I laugh and say that he was already bit by a leopard today. One of the other people in the nursery with us asked if it was the leopard over by the River Kwai. He told us that same leopard got his mother early that week…

Now Stop Fighting, Guys

Play Time With Parents

None of the Toys Are Safe

One of the Four

Pull My Blanky, Mom

No, Daddy, I Won’t Let Go

Lovely

Don’t Ya Wanna Take Him Home?

Three Of Four With Mommy

Get Off My Tires!

Paw Size-Off

After 30 minutes of playing with the baby tigers, we spend another 15 minutes feeding them. Through a baby bottle. I don’t think I have ever been happier in my life. I can’t stop kissing the tigers. They are so lovely, so delicious. I want one. I can’t live without one. Marc had to drag me out of there kicking and screaming. I was actually screaming silently because after their play session and a big bottle of formula, they are all knackered and sleeping. I LOVE them.

Lunch Time

Can’t Get Enough

Posing

Brother Is Grooming Him

Almost Finished

Family Picture

Nap Time

There is another optional add-on at the temple. Sign me up. I don’t care what it is or how much it costs. You can pay a minimal fee (I would have paid 10x more and it was a fraction of what holding the baby panda which just got bumped from #1, to #2 place in greatest life experiences) you could have a tiger put his head in your lap. I’ll do it! Marc is so delicious to every cat–including yours truly, he decides to opt out of this. He has been bitten 3 times in one day. I am actually a bit envious. I want to be bit by a leopard or a tiger. I can’t sign up for the next option quick enough. Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

Back down into the canyon we go. I take a seat right next to a 400 kilo sleeping tiger. Next thing I know they have lifted him up and put his massive head into my lap. Marc was allowed to stand behind me for some photos. We make an incredible family. The proud parents have never looked happier or more fulfilled. We don’t want babies. We want tigers! They eat boiled chicken. They drink water out of water bottles converted into squirt bottles. They are gorgeous. They are stunning. They are wonderful. They are loved.

Family Painting

Grin

Chief Monk With Us

Pure Happiness

After we are taken to visit with the rest of the tigers who are true cats and sleeping the day away. Peaceful in the sun. I want to spoon one. I find out it is frowned upon. We move from tiger to tiger, giving them a pat, introducing ourselves, taking pictures. Aware that every second we are next to these wondrous beasts that this is the 2nd greatest day of our lives (2nd only to our wedding day).

Beautiful

Indescribable

Wow!

We can’t get enough. There are 47 tigers living in the temple. They are everywhere. We were just about to leave and a monk calls me over. He is there with his tiger. I begin petting him and the monk tells me to give him a kiss. Avec plaisir! Then the monk takes the tiger’s leash off and says–why don’t you take him home? Pack your bags baby. We are making tracks to Yorkville! More kisses for my 400 kilo tiger baby. Then I have to face the torment of leaving my beloved tigers behind and saying good bye. The monk wasn’t serious that I could take him.

Smile

Yawn

You Can’t Stop Loving Them

The Leash Is Off!

I will go back. I will see them again.

Cat Life

Marking the Territory

Eight Months Baby

I am starting this entry off with a proper shout out and thank you to Larry. A few months before the start of our journey, Larry sent me the PDF of a school project about tigers who lived with monks.

This is where I will start.

We wake up really early to drive 3 hours to the Tiger Temple (in case you want to go, we recommend to book our guide "Tik", who was excellent).

We are almost there, but we stop at the bridge over the river Kwai. While driving past, I spot a leopard. A baby leopard on a leash. We immediately head over to see the baby with the stunning spotted coat. There is a stand in front of a restaurant with 2 hacks who will let you hold, feed, and photograph yourself with the leopard. It costs 100 Bath (3 USD). Feeding time for the leopard is over. He isn’t hungry and large cats do not over-eat. He is spectacular. Have I mentioned his stunning, spotted coat?

Gorgeous Coat

I hold him first. He is a bit rangy, but I am quick. They give him a stuffed animal whose eyes he has already ripped out to calm him. I put him down and let Marc have a turn.

Playing With His Toy

Watch Out!

He Needs To Chew On Something

Marc takes a seat on the platform where the leopard is leashed and he starts circling–despite his short chain. The leopard walks over to Marc, who is smiling for the camera, and takes a huge bite out of his thigh. His brand new pants (literally bought less than 16 hours before) are ripped and he is bleeding. Marc being Marc, laughs, and holds him anyhow for the camera. We get unbelievable pictures because the leopard doesn’t have the stuffed animal in his mouth. Marc then holds him like a baby. Next thing I know, the leopard turns and gets him–a bite on the side of Marc’s jaw. Marc hands the leopard back and the hacks rush to treat him with a half full bottle of antiseptic (this has obviously happened before). I didn’t realize that he was bleeding as much as he was. I sort of missed the 2nd bite–however it is caught on video. The first bite was pretty bad and developed into a huge bruise as well as a scar. I thought the leopard only snapped at him the 2nd time–as he did me, but had no idea that the leopard got him already before.

Ouch! The First Bite

What a Beauty

Brand New Shorts

We both can’t believe that Marc has a story to trump my rice paddy story, but he does. Talk about bragging rights. He got bit by a leopard–twice!

We walk over to the river Kwai bridge, which is nearby. Marc is still bleeding. We take some photos and add to our list of movies that we need to see on our return–Bridge On the River Kwai. We walk across the bridge and make our way to the other side of the river. On our way back we hop onto the platforms as the tracks are still live and a train is coming.

Bridge Over River Kwai

Approaching Train

Lunch.

So after our previous bus experience, we decide that it would be money well spent to fly to Bangkok from Siem Reap instead of an 8 hour bus ride. Not only would we gain half a day in Bangkok, but we would also save ourselves the monster bus ride.

The Red Bridge

The first thing we figured out about Bangkok–you have to move forward with the understanding that everyone in the city is trying to cheat you. Everyone.

Our first night in Bangkok was the hotel that was included in our tour–the last night. Horrible. The hotel obviously understands that everyone in Bangkok will try to cheat you, so they operate with the mentality that hotel guests will do the same. In each guest room, there is a list of every article inside the room and the cost for that article (everything from a towel to a lamp). Break it or take it, you will be charged. Want a key? You have to leave a cash deposit. During our check-in, Marc handed them a credit card. No–cash only. I have never heard of such craziness. This wasn’t problematic for us as we were staying in Thailand for quite some time, but fellow travelers were leaving the next day. They wanted to use up their Thai Bath–not come home with the equivalent of 35 USD. Trying to exit the hotel, we were constantly accosted by ner do well tuk tuk drivers, permitted to solicit tourists in the lobby.

We had “included” in the cost of the ride from the airport to the hotel a city tour. A guide in a car picked us up and took us to a temple with a massive reclining Buddha which was impressive. Not a bad start.

Reclining Buddha

Royal Temple

Buddhas Wherever You Look

Then the guide told us that we were going to a stone museum. I was excited that we were going to Royal Lapidary–so excited in fact that I took a picture of the outside sign. On arrival there was a girl sorting through various Thai Sapphires which is the country’s specialty. A few more meters in and through a special doorway was a huge jewelry showroom. Yep, they were pushing, hard, for us to buy jewelry. I kept explaining that we just got married and Marc had already bought me a lovely ring and we weren’t in the market for diamonds. How about your birth stone? I of course make things much more complicated by being born in April and therefore diamonds are my birth stone.

The “Stone Factory”

We went to another jewelry store (we walked in only for the welcome drink) and a tailor. We bought nothing. They weren’t pleased.

A mother daughter Swedish team on our tour went on a similar city tour and flat out refused to go to the jewelry store. We of course were fooled by the stone museum and royal lapidary. We’re suckers–I know.

That night we went to the Back packers road–Khao San Road. You can get everything and anything here. Want an Ontario health card? A driver’s license from Maine? An EU media pass? Everything. Also, down the center of this street–which is busting with people, everyone is cooking the most random things and the smells are horrible. It was pungent and a bit much for Kitty and the Germ. Hair extensions were the hot ticket item on the street. Using candle wax (from a candle) they bonded the long locks in. What was extra hot were the dread lock extensions you could get. I tried to convince Marc that it would be really funny–but he flat out refused. Chinese guys, Australian guys–everyone seemed to be doing it.

Khao San Street

Crazy at Night

The following morning, we got up early and went to the Grand Palace. On our short walk there, everyone kept stopping us letting us know that we wouldn’t be allowed in because of our inappropriate attire. You could see my ankles (I was wearing low cropped Lulu’s and a black T-shirt–I was fully covered) they of course wanted to take us to their stores so we could buy the appropriate attire. Someone told me that he had read in Lonely Planet that it is common for people to accost tourists outside of the palace, convince them that it is closed, but will take them on a city tour–and we know how that turns out.

Inside the Grand Palace, we found out that Marc’s knee length shorts weren’t long enough and he had to borrow a pair of purple pants. He looked like he was wearing hospital scrubs. I laughed my ass off at the site of him. He left a deposit for the pants and away we went to tour the Palace.

Dress Code For Grand Palace

“ER”

The Palace was grand and gold–it felt very shiny and new, and I kept saying–Vegas style. That was it. It absolutely felt like the new hotel on the strip–The Grand Thai Palace Hotel.

Grand Palace Vegas Style

Shiny

More Bling

The Palace was indeed nothing short of impressive. It was huge and fully restored. We witnessed the changing of Buddha statue’s clothes. Yep. The Buddha statue has a summer outfit and a winter outfit that they ceremoniously change with the seasons. We walked in during the removal of Buddha’s outfit. Sacrilege and not PC to say, but it really felt like dress up dolly. We were in disbelief. Really? You’re changing the outfits? I used to play that game with my Barbies…

We returned Marc’s borrowed pants, got our deposit back and made our way back to the hotel. We couldn’t move quick enough to get out of our shit hotel and into the brand new JW Marriott.

When we were being escorted to our room, the girl asked if we were going to Loy Krathong festival. It was an annual festival that lasted 3 days. This was the final night. The big night. We asked what time it was happening and she said it would get started around 6 pm. We had already made dinner reservations at Bed Supperclub–one of Jeff’s recommendations, but it was a late res and figured we could do it all.

Flower Floats for Loy Krathong

Our Floaty

We made our way down to the river. We hoped on a boat to take us to the Mandarin Oriental and arrived just in time to see the entire staff, dressed in costume make a grand entrance with music, drums, huge floats–full of flowers, candles and sculptures that would be lit up, and sending floating down the river.

Float at Mandarin Oriental

Mandarin Oriental Buffet

A Special Occasion

Loy Krathong

We were pumped. We waited. We waited. Every now and then we saw a teeny tiny flower float make its way down the river. The clock was ticking. Our reservations. Jeff’s recommendation. We wanted to see the thousand floats, all magically lit up come down the river. We were sure it was going to be a once in a life time experience. We waited. WTF? The girl at the hotel had clearly lied to us. We had our purchases with us and were looking haggard from a long day. I then had the great idea of going back to the hotel, changing and insisting that they get us a waterfront reservation since the girl led us astray and we missed our highly anticipated hot reservation at the Bed Supperclub. Back we went, changed with rapid speed, had the hotel make us a reservation. We flew back to the water in a taxi, (as fast as you can fly in the notorious Bangkok grid lock traffic) in time to see the damn float parade.

We made it to the local restaurant that the hotel recommends. We’re totally overdressed. We see some fire works–big deal. We want to see flowers with candles floating down the river. Fire works? Canada Day, Victoria Day, Fourth of July–fire works are available multiple times a year and we’re not really fire works people (unlike Michel who just can’t get enough of them). Anyhow, while walking to a different hotel, we see one of the big floats that we saw earlier in the evening –being carried by hotel staff back to someone’s car. Seriously? The damn floats were for show and since the night was so windy, nothing was staying lit. Total bust. We were a bit gutted, starving (still no dinner), and no floating flower magic.

Ready to Light It Up

Once In a Lifetime Experience?

We officially hate Bangkok.

I am singing now–What a difference a day makes…24 little hours…

So after the hardest day so far, we followed it up with one of the best days.

Welcome to Siem Reap. Home of Angkor Wat. We are loving it here. It is reminding me of Ellicottville and Nice, Cambodian style. The town is full of bars, little shops, tons of partiers, lots of travelers.

Good Morning, Angkor Wat

The Gate to Angkor Tomb

The town maintains a very strong French influence and we are happy as clams. Cheese. We spend the afternoon having Thai massages (which have been SUCH an experience, it warrants its own entry). We have cocktails at the Red Piano–a famous bar in the center of pub street. It was Angelina’s favorite. She invented a cocktail, which we really enjoyed and the entire time we were drinking these tasty new discoveries, all we could think and talk about were the Mathiesons. Visions of Tim and AMT sucking them back at warp speed, getting trashed off their new favorite drink. Soon dear friends! Tomb Raider night chez Kitty and the Germ.

Sunrise at Angkor Wat

We had a fun dinner at the Dead Fish restaurant. It had traditional dancers and a system of ordering unlike anything I have ever seen. First, place your order. The waiter puts the written order into a tin that he shoots down a string in to the kitchen. Just because you ordered first doesn’t mean you won’t get your dinner last. Waiting until everyone is served just doesn’t happen. It can’t. We kept thinking that this multi-levelled resto would never pass Canadian safety requirements. It really was an accident waiting to happen. Slightly treacherous.

Dead Fish Restaurant

Cambodian Dance

After our dinner (surprise, surprise, I had Pho–again) we have the famous Cambodian Dr. Fish massage. This is the deal. You take your shoes off. You sit on the edge of an inflatable pool. You submerge your feet. Little fish come and start sucking the dead skin and bacteria off your feet. I assure you, you read this correctly. Fish eat the skin off your feet. It was a strange feeling. We have some hilarious pictures. That being said, it will never replace a good old fashion pedicure.

Arnon, Marc, James & Catherine

Dr. Fish Massage

The following morning we got up–before the crack of dawn to head to Angkor Wat to see the sun rise. It was stunning.

Very Early In the Morning

Kitty and the Germ at Angkor Wat

Ancient Stories

Reflection

Angkor Wat

“Pose”

After that we went to Angkor Tomb. This is an amazing site. There’s nothing like it anywhere else in the world.

Angkor Tomb

A Matter of Perspective

Kitty

Entry to Angkor Tomb

“Cheese”

Beauty at Angkor Tomb

Finally we saw Ta Phrom. Some of this will look familiar if you have seen Tomb Raider (hence the Angelina connection). Ta Phrom just moved into 2nd place of sites/experiences on this journey. There is a magic that is hard to describe.

Nature Taking Over

Ta Phrom

Tomb Raider Temple

Trees vs. Stone

Kitty and the Germ at Ta Phrom

Trees have overtaken the temple and I have never seen anything so exquisite in all of my days. It literally felt like it had been touched by the hand of God. It was as though the trees just didn’t care and since they were left to their own devices, they did what they wanted to do. Ta Phrom temple just beat out the Great Wall of China which was incredible, but totally man-made. The added natural element of the tree temple can’t be duplicated.

Stunning Ending for a Perfect Day

Sunset over Siem Reap

Back to the Red Piano. Mmm… More Tomb Raider cocktails.

The next day, Marc opted out of more temples. Off to the PGA golf course he went. I will clarify that Marc thankfully did not bring his clubs with him on the journey, but was happy to be able to rent shoes and clubs at this fabulous Nick Faldo design course in which he played with a caddy and loved every second. It was one of the most challenging courses he has ever played and will describe the holes to all the golfies on his return.

Marc’s Caddy

Challenging but Fun

Meanwhile, while Marc was on the golf course (getting a horrific burn on his legs I might add), I was back at more temples. Another 2. If there are trees over taking it, I am thrilled. The second temple was a water temple. We had to walk the plank to get there. I of course had vivid memories of the rice paddy and was a bit anxious. Once we got there, it was stunning–and hot. 35 degrees, not including the humidex. I am melting.

Water Temple

As per Jeff’s advice, we head to Hotel de la Paix. Stunning. We have a lovely bottle of wine and I am in a really good mood because there is cheese. We watch traditional dances, performed by orphans.

Dance at Hotel de la Paix

That night, it seemed only fitting that we join the local travelers and partiers (it is Halloween) and go to Angkor What?? A crazy night club to dance our asses off and drink cheap drinks out of buckets. Memories of Nice–flooding back. It actually wasn’t a bucket, more of an upside down plastic top hat with some straws. Of course this turned into a wild night. You would expect nothing less.

Happy Halloween

We’re driving through the Vietnamese country side on our way to Cambodia on a public bus. We get to the border and say good-bye to our passports and we wait in a stinky bus depot. We wait. Finally some guy holds up a passport and begins to hand them off. No order, no reason–just some form of organized Cambodian chaos. I am the last one left. Our guide has kindly stuck it out with me, and finally my passport arrives. Phew. From there we make our way outside to a holding area where we fill out customs cards, pay 20 USD and get a hand written visa. Then the bus takes us for a “simple lunch”. Never in all of my life would I have thought that I would have been eating in a garage. Yes, a garage. To signal the lunch was over, the driver started to wail on the bus horn. My meal was full of bones and needless to say, we left hungry–fighting over the hand sanitizer.

Lunch in a Bus Garage

We arrive at Phnom Penh and are here for a few nights. Everywhere there are posters starting child safe zone. I of course begged to differ as our hotel elevator almost chopped my arm off. My Swedish friend said–not that kind of SAFETY. Oh.

Over half the population of Cambodia is under the age of 18. Child prostitution and sex tourism is rampant here. Our first night was at a resto called Friends–all of the proceeds go to child protection and everyone working there is a former street child. They are taught the art of cooking and service and go on to find jobs at nice hotels or other restaurants.

Store on Two Wheels

Transportation in this city is easiest by tuk tuk. A tuk tuk is a little carriage attached to a moped. Rates to be agreed upon before you step in. Beware of thieves who are known to ride up next to your tuk tuk and yank the sunglasses off your face, the purse off your arm and help themselves to the purchases you have made.

Dragon Boat Practice

Flags of all Nations on the River Bank

Tuk Tuk (Three Plus Luggage)

The Way to Get Around

We get acquainted with the city on arrival in a cyclo (AKA rickshaw) and propelled by a man bicycling. The city is on fire with tourists. There are restaurants everywhere, the American dollar is the unofficial currency (prices on menus and on clothes are in USD). They are preparing for a festival and everyone is out practicing paddling in their dragon boats.

Ready for a Cyclo Tour

Exploring Phnom Penh

Happy on Cyclo

This is Normal Traffic

Men don’t stop approaching Marc. You wanna get high? Cocaine? Girls? Heroine? Lady boys? Massage with a happy ending? They don’t stop asking. You can pretty much get what ever you want here–including a rocket launcher or semi automatic.

Sunset in Phnom Penh

Now to the dark side of Cambodia.

Pol Pot–the name should be synonymous with murdering tyrants (a name absolutely interchangeable with Hitler) and the Khmer Rouge (interchangeable with Nazi).

Our second day in Phnom Penh was officially the hardest of our trip–starting with a tour of the genocide museum–Section 21 (or S21). Over 3 million Cambodians were murdered during the Khmer Rouge regime (in the late 70s). We started off the day at Section 21. The building used to be a high school, but then was turned into a prison and torture factory–getting people to “confess” and holding them in the prison before being sent to the killing fields. Their crimes? Being too educated and knowing too much. First to go were the doctors, lawyers, accountants and teachers–and all of their families. Then it was the farmers and everyone in between. The goal was to equalize everyone. Everyone was to start on the same level at the very bottom. Eventually they started to turn on each other. No one was safe. Not the elderly. Not the young. Not even the babies.

Tuosleng Genocide Museum

Section 21: Former High School

Entry to “Classroom” Cells

We went into rooms that just 30 years ago, people were tortured, brutalized and eventually murdered. Think of the feeling you have when you walk into a cathedral or church. You feel awe-inspired, peaceful, hopeful, perhaps a little critical, but most often you are impressed. There is a feeling of serenity and respect. Now imagine if you will the feeling of being in a tiny room with a few simple yet very effective torture devices and a wired bed frame. Imagine what it felt like to be in a space of pain, suffering, fear, hopelessness, betrayal, anger. The physical reaction I had to being inside this hell on earth was palpable.

Torture Room

All Victims Where Photographed

There were only 7 people who made it out of Section 21 alive. One of them was there when we were, sharing his story and providing a glimmer of hope. He was wearing sandals to show us his toe which was never the same after having his nail ripped out repeatedly. We took pictures with him and shook his hand. Meeting him was truly a glimmer of hope and promise in such a dark place.

One of Seven Survivors

An Honor to Have Met Him

Only Seven Made It Out Alive (We Met the One on the Left)

After leaving, feeling deflated and weighted down, we went to the Killing Fields. On these hallowed grounds, hundreds of thousands of innocent Cambodians were murdered. There are over three hundred fifty killing fields throughout Cambodia. We went to the biggest one. It indicated where the buses pulled up and started to unload the victims. In an effort to save bullets which were very expensive, alternative methods of systematic killings were implemented. I won’t go into the details as they are very upsetting, and impossible to forget, but know that they were horrific. There were big trenches where they discovered mass graves and they have still not unearthed all of the victims yet. A memorial was set up in the center of the field and from first glance it looks like a temple. As you get closer, it has the shape of a temple, but full of the skull and bones from the murdered. They are separated into age groups. It was horrible and did not take place all that long ago.

One of the Killing Fields

Shrine

Just Horrible

Mass Graves

Only Skulls Were Kept

Grouped by Age and Gender

It was a day that we will never forget. On a horrible side note, Pol Pot (who BTW was a monk as a child and studied in France) died of natural causes in his 80s.

On the second day on Phnom Penh we visited the Royal Palace. It’s a beautiful place and one can only imagine what it was like when the emperor actually resided here. Of course, I’m the attraction of the day and a monk (!) asked to have a picture taken with me.

Royal Palace

Roof Top

Gold is the Color of Choice

Inside the Palace

The Monks Asked for This Photo!

Royal Palace

A Beautiful Day