We landed in such a clean, efficient airport, we would expect nothing less from Dubai. No lines, no garbage, and only a brief couple minutes at customs. We’re set.

There were a few things running through our heads concerning Dubai. First are the have and the have-nots–no place where it is more articulated than here. Second–the economic crisis which was really making headlines when we arrived (I read Josh Levy’s Facebook status a few days before we arrived which said “Surprise, Dubai, you can’t build your economy off of indentured labor and slavery” ) and finally the comparison to Las Vegas.

The biggest surprise for us was how few people there were. The city felt empty. There was very little traffic (amidst the most high-end cars we have ever seen), no street vendors, no pedestrians. The fact that you really couldn’t walk anywhere was a big drag. You needed to take a taxi everywhere.

The really big thing here are the shopping malls. There are two malls that are unbelievable–unreal. The first is the Mall of the Emirates. This is the mall that has the ski slopes. With the first glimpses of these man-made slopes including a T-bar, a J-bar, a magic carpet, a two-person chair lift and a tubing area) I was absolutely speechless. If skiing or boarding isn’t your thing, why not bowl, or hit the pool hall?

We later laughed at a radio advertisement we heard in a taxi that said “become an expert skier in three hours” Really? Sign us up.

What also left us speechless was the realization that unless you are in a hotel–no booze. No wine, no beer, no liquor. Marc has a virgin margarita which would have been delicious if there was some tequila in it…

The streets there may be empty, but the malls are packed. Except for the Christmas rush, you have never seen so many people. 10 pm on Monday?

The hotel Burj Al Arab is just as fantastic as you think a 7-star hotel would be. The security is tight, the cars are expensive.

The building that knocked the CN Tower out of #1 position for the tallest structure in the world is called the Burj Al Dubai. It is located at the Mall of Dubai. This mall has over 1,200 stores (yes, over a thousand). There is a grid system for the map which has number and letters–just like a real map because it is so extensive.

I got yellow carded on entry. I didn’t meet the dress code. Knees and shoulders must be covered. Of course I was wearing a floor length strapless dress. The list of rules started off with dress code and included “no alcohol” (despite the countless restos and cafes) “no public displays of affection (had a picture of people holding hands) and “no smoking”. Thankfully I had a pashmina in my purse and was permitted entry. This mall didn’t have a ski slope, but it did have a skating rink, a waterfall, and a huge aquarium with sharks, sting rays, and huge schools of fish (think Chicago or Atlanta aquariums–world class).

The Gold Souk was recommended in “1,000 Things to See Before You Die”. I have never seen gold like this. 24 carat–so yellow, so ornate. Not our style, but fun to see. Dubai was put on the map for trading long before the oil boom in the 60s. Gold and precious stones were their first currency.

After the visit to the Gold Souk, we hired a boat for an hour and went on a tour of the older part of Dubai. Even on water I’m an attraction.

On a recommendation, we went on a desert safari. A driver came to pick us up and drove us 40 minutes south to the desert. We were in 4x4s and then it dropped us off at this holding ground where there were two monkeys (of course I got them a bag of chips) and a midget who posed for pictures and then of course wanted a fee…

We got into our 4×4, buckled up and went dune bashing. Really it was one of those life moments we will never forget. Up and down like roller coaster, we went over the desert dunes. I definitely let out a few screams and when we stopped for a photo opportunity, all I kept thinking about was how much my mother would have hated the entire experience. We found it thrilling.

After about an hour of dune bashing we drove to a Bedouin camp and went for a short camel ride. Riding a camel is a lot more like riding a horse (much more than an elephant). I enjoyed it, but felt horrible for my camel. It was groaning and moaning every time it had to get up.

Once we were done our camel ride, we went inside the tents. An option was to put on Arabic clothes for a photoshoot. I had assured my father that the likelihood of me ever wearing a Burka would result in the unlikely event of me being kidnapped and being forced to wear one. Now since I could put one on (and take it off) on my own free will–I thought why miss a once in a lifetime opportunity to wear a Burka. I told Marc that I would make this photo my new Facebook profile picture and he said that it wasn’t PC.

We both had a fascination with the Burkas. What the women were wearing underneath (I saw one girl’s robe open slightly and she had on a black T-shirt that said ‘top dog’ in hot pink letters) the clothes they were buying (we saw two girls really examining a sexy sundress with keen interest–we both wanted to know, where are you going to wear that?). What are they are buying from such high-end stores? You’re wearing a Burka, what the eff are you buying from Carolina Herrera? The choice of shoes was also a point of interest (from converse to stripper heels) as well as the embellishments that some women included on the back of their headdresses (sequin patters were really quite popular) and the stores at which you found such clothes (La Reine was our favorite).

At the Bedouin camp, we had a Lebanese dinner (eaten off the floor of course) followed by a belly dance performance. The dancing girl was good (very Eastern European) and the next thing I knew, she had pulled Marc out of the audience and he was up there shaking his hips, giving her. I couldn’t stop laughing. I love my Germ.

Next stop–South Africa. Mmm–meat and booze-together at the same time. It sounds like heaven.